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Recently I caught a snip-it of one of those "You might be a Redneck if...." shows which I have always hated!!!!! But it gave me an idea! I present to you.....
You Might Live a Solitary Life If....
- It's taken 20 minutes to get out of a dress with a zipper in the back
- You've had a co-worker tie and button the back of your shirt.
- Cereal is in heavy rotation for dinner
- It's 8:30 p.m. and you just realized you haven't even eaten dinner!
- You enter your bedroom and think for a sec, "I've been ROBBED!!"
- You go to bed earlier on Fridays then any other night of the week!
- You go out to get the Sunday paper from the front door at noon
- You only empty the dishwasher when it's ready to be filled again or
- only fold the towels in the dryer when there's a new load to be done
- You mute the TV to hear what going on outside
- You wake up at 3 a.m. and frantically rush to the front door to make sure it's locked
- Tutoring on a Saturday counts as "plans"
- You only get the mail twice a week
- You've spent a Saturday binge watching entire seasons of Downton Abbey (ignoring all calls and texts).
- You've finished that bottle of wine because it's just silly to leave "that little" left for tomorrow or
- You've made a pitcher of margs...just because!!
- The only person who knows your house number is MOM
- You're pretty sure the neighbors think you don't actually live alone because you talk to yourself...like A LOT!!
- You yell at the ceiling...because GUS is loud.
- There was that one weekend you came home from work on Friday and didn't leave again until work on Monday!
- You're still wearing your Mismatch Day outfit when the PeaPod guy delivers your groceries.
- You care what the PeaPod guy thinks...
- You've had dinner...alone...at the bar
- It's taken you so long to try and get your cowboy boots off, that you've texted your sister to come and help (her answer was NO....lol)
- Sometimes you look in the mirror and think, Yikes. its a good thing I live alone!
- The same thing happens after watching a sad movie (or YouTube video) and the ugly cry has come out!
- You Facebook message or text back people you probably shouldn't
- You come out in the morning to make coffee, realize you left the blinds open all night, look at what you're wearing, and think "OH WELL!"
- You get a little too dressed up to go to that BBQ
- You've wasted more time on YouTube then you've ever thought possible
- People worry that you don't eat so they make you plates and send you home with leftovers
- This is you...
- You might have a key to your house hidden at work, in case you ran out the door in the morning without it!
- You've thought about getting a pet for company (which you'd never really do otherwise!) But then rationalize, "that's expensive... I'd rather spend the money on clothes!
And last but not least....
You might live a solitary life if....
YOU GET EXCITED ABOUT CANCELLED PLANS!!!
hahahahahahaha
Katie
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YES to so so so many of these! Also, you've had a coworker put a bracelet with a clasp on for you. Bracelets are the worst.
ReplyDeleteum you're hilarious!! I WISH I did some of these lol like dinner, alone, at a pub!
ReplyDeleteSimply Shaunacey
Really enjoyed this!! I feel like I do some of these things even tho I'm married!
ReplyDeleteAshley
acutelifestyle.blogspot.com
I'm not solitary but girl some of these fit me to a tee too!!! xoxoxox
ReplyDeleteCutie pie, you made me giggle with some of the funny things on your list. I have forgotten I had on pjs from Pajama Day at school, when I stopped on my way home to get milk. Love the one about leaving the little bit of wine. That goes for little bit of anything...little bit of pie, cake, this dab of cookie dough.
ReplyDelete