Recently I caught a snip-it of one of those "You might be a Redneck if...." shows which I have always hated!!!!! But it gave me an idea! I present to you.....
You Might Live a Solitary Life If....
- It's taken 20 minutes to get out of a dress with a zipper in the back
- You've had a co-worker tie and button the back of your shirt.
- Cereal is in heavy rotation for dinner
- It's 8:30 p.m. and you just realized you haven't even eaten dinner!
- You enter your bedroom and think for a sec, "I've been ROBBED!!"
- You go to bed earlier on Fridays then any other night of the week!
- You go out to get the Sunday paper from the front door at noon
- You only empty the dishwasher when it's ready to be filled again or
- only fold the towels in the dryer when there's a new load to be done
- You mute the TV to hear what going on outside
- You wake up at 3 a.m. and frantically rush to the front door to make sure it's locked
- Tutoring on a Saturday counts as "plans"
- You only get the mail twice a week
- You've spent a Saturday binge watching entire seasons of Downton Abbey (ignoring all calls and texts).
- You've finished that bottle of wine because it's just silly to leave "that little" left for tomorrow or
- You've made a pitcher of margs...just because!!
- The only person who knows your house number is MOM
- You're pretty sure the neighbors think you don't actually live alone because you talk to yourself...like A LOT!!
- You yell at the ceiling...because GUS is loud.
- There was that one weekend you came home from work on Friday and didn't leave again until work on Monday!
- You're still wearing your Mismatch Day outfit when the PeaPod guy delivers your groceries.
- You care what the PeaPod guy thinks...
- You've had dinner...alone...at the bar
- It's taken you so long to try and get your cowboy boots off, that you've texted your sister to come and help (her answer was NO....lol)
- Sometimes you look in the mirror and think, Yikes. its a good thing I live alone!
- The same thing happens after watching a sad movie (or YouTube video) and the ugly cry has come out!
- You Facebook message or text back people you probably shouldn't
- You come out in the morning to make coffee, realize you left the blinds open all night, look at what you're wearing, and think "OH WELL!"
- You get a little too dressed up to go to that BBQ
- You've wasted more time on YouTube then you've ever thought possible
- People worry that you don't eat so they make you plates and send you home with leftovers
- This is you...
- You might have a key to your house hidden at work, in case you ran out the door in the morning without it!
- You've thought about getting a pet for company (which you'd never really do otherwise!) But then rationalize, "that's expensive... I'd rather spend the money on clothes!
And last but not least....
You might live a solitary life if....
YOU GET EXCITED ABOUT CANCELLED PLANS!!!